I just screwed up one of the best friendships of my life! Help?

I have a boy bestfriend. He was my secret keeper, the way we talked we were in a relationship ( we weren't), I told him everything. I am bipolar, bulimic, and have other self harmed myself. He knew all my issues, but did not care. I went into my bipolar depression and blocked myself from the world.. And him. He tried talking to me and I told him to **** off, he was very upset. A few months later here I am and am now entering my mania and I just did something really impulsive and went psycho saying "You are mad at me, aren't you! I knew you hated me!" I then deleted his number from my phone and as a friend on fb. What can I do? I lose all of my friends.. I cannot live like this.